2020

2020

Hi!

2:01 am- thought its already 17th the first month 2020, i'd like to say Happy New Year to my reader! YEAY! normally, when new years come people like to ask basic questions like; 'what is your goal for this year?'. for me, goals doesn't mean always start at begin of the year (maybe for some people yes) it is for me. the goals start when im ready. then that's my beginning for new goals.

(why im writing this at 2 fcking am)

okay. sometimes i feel useless for existing. because i think what im doing in my life didn't bring me to the path that i want to. sometimes it gives me frustrated to live a life. i think i want to continue my study but i don't have a specific certificate like Muet. so i need to get that first, then i got a problem on the other hands. and the problem comes one by one, that time i thought; "ah... i can't continue my study...". at the time i ever think that my family doesn't want to help me in this way because they want me to start to work.

but then, one day i realize that He literally plans my path one by one. it actually wants me to wait with sabr'. and it hit me hard. so im feel thankful for what happened in my life. life is hard, that's why He gives you test in life to make you strong.

i am who i am now. it's a lie if sometimes i didn't feel broken and losing my sabr'. sometimes im crying hard and keep asking why, why and why. i know you've been through the same as me. and i want you to know that it's okay to stop take a rest just because it's hard. there's must be a reason why, why and why He makes your life that way. 

3:00 am- i think just that for this morning. once again, happy new year and enjoy where and who you are right now (wink). 

i purple you❤️

끝.